So I’m an obscure gaming ‘blog talking about even more obscure games using obscure song titles as my own titles.

I never said I was hip.

Let’s get right to it, I don’t have much time today.  Maybe only 10,000 years.


This is kind of weird.  We’ve gone 4 turns without a single change to our hunting grounds.  But we’ve got to go through a whole lot of Elder death anyway…again.  Cro-Magnon is the only one with a mature Fire-Starter, so let’s see if I can get lucky: Nope.  2,6,2.  Smoke got in his eyes, and so did a cougar.

Without a lot of Elders or Unwed Daughters, the Blizzard event isn’t hurting us at all, so we can just move on and bid on A Woman With a Name.  Getting a name is important in culture (remember how important it was in the cartoon from the 90s Gargoyles), but in a Solitaire game, it doesn’t really mean anything, as making all Daughters worth 2VPs each doesn’t matter.  Unlocking access to the Venus portal is nice, though.  Cro-Magnon already has that ability through the Generous Woman and Neanderthal already has a Black disc from game start, so Archaic Man is the logical choice.  Of course, sinking an Orange disc onto a daughter is a bit rough.

Right now, Archaic man has 11 Hunters, and only 8 free Vocabulary discs.  Of course, if I get this Daughter, and are able to quickly free up the Orange disc, I’ll be able to get a Knapper Elder in the future, and that’s REALLY useful if you have a big tribe.

And really, am I the only one who watched Gargoyles?  Goliath and Desdemona?  Flying around New York?  The guy with the stone hand?  It was amazing!

There’s a part of me that wants to play it safe and give the Woman With a Name to Neanderthal and let Archaic Man just kind of surf free until I can change his Sexuality card, but I’m going to diversify and see if I can get a few discs in his head and take down some big game.

Now for Hunter Placement.  Neanderthal has 9 free Hunters to place first.  He has 9 free Vocabulary discs, so we’re teetering close to Chaos, so making an Elder or two isn’t a bad idea.  So I’ll place one as an immature Fire-starter, and another as an immature Warrior.  That frees up 7 to do the actual stabbing.


That’s the old picture, the Flint Mine is now a Woolly Rhinoceros.  Nothing will free an Orange & a Black disc at the same time, so I might as well go for one or the other.  And with 7 dice, I might be able to take down the Cave Hyena, but I might get a lot of casualties.  I don’t need 2 discs worth of cleaning, so I guess I’ll just play it safe and go for the Willow Ptarmigan.  I don’t need many more kids, and I have a hand size of 2 at the moment, so if I end up drawing it, big deal.

Speaking of which, when Cro-Magnon got smoke in his eyes?  Yeah, he had to discard his card, too.  No Elders meant no hand size.  Life is tough.

Archaic Man has no shortage of Hunters and only needs one Orange disc removed, so will easily go for the Fallow Deer.  He’ll also try for a Fire-Starter, too.  Actually, because of that….to heck with this.  3 Hunters are going for the Chamois.  Not great odds, but safe because of gathering Mushrooms.  The rest (7) are going to take down the Cave Hyena.  Awwwww, yeah.

Cro-Magnon will also try, again, for the Fire-Starter.  Hmmm, he needs 2 black discs as well, but the best way to do that is the Hyena.  With only 6 Hunters any of the other prey doesn’t seem all that likely.  Okay, I’ll send one off to see if he can Marry the Totem woman over at the Neanderthals, and the other 5 will try to grow the tribe at the Fallow Deer.  There we go.

Neanderthal: (7 dice, Ptarmigan): 3,1,6,4,3,2,2 – Success!  One hunter dies (we send the Green cube back that we “borrowed” from their “courting” attempt) from frostbite.  We remove the Orange disc under the Warrior.  We can now (dun dun DUNNNN!!!!) replace one of our hunters with an ALPHA HUNTER!


This cylinder (or larger cube in this case), is a special hunter.  In this case, he is a Warrior.  You can see the powers that gives, the most important for the solitaire game is that any creature that has the little club symbol on its card (which would be all the predators), I don’t have to roll a die for the Warrior.  That’s right, I just have to put down a 1 and say: “That’s what he rolled.”


Knappers and Trappers are the same for the other two symbols.  Warriors also give you benefits when it comes to turn order (not a big deal in solitaire) and when fighting other tribes (again, no whoop).  But for my purposes, it’s Hyena whooping time!

Cro-Magnon: (1 die Courtship) 4, goes home rejected; (5 dice, Fallow Deer) 6,4,5,1,4 Failure.


Archaic Man: (3 dice, Chamois) 4,4,6 Failure, gains one hunter from gathering mushrooms (7 dice, Hyena) 2,6,5,6,2,2,6 Failure!  4 Dead Hunters due to mangling. However gained Hyena card as “Trophy.”  Gained one hunter from gathering Wild Barley.


That could have gone better.  Was hoping for a big leap forward, and half my Archaic Man are dead and I’m less one hunting ground.

Let’s just phase 6 this and call it a day:

Neanderthal will think the black disc out from under his Fire-Starter, giving him 2 mature Elders.  Cro-Magnon will do the same.

Archaic Man will name his toes.

Without any more glacier events, I have 7 turns to Domesticate an animal.  Not looking good.  Neanderthals are doing well, though, so I still have some hope for them.  Archaic Man is still above the Chaos threshold even after getting mangled by the Hyena, so they could still lose a lot more hunters.  I think I’ve been mishandling them all game.  I’ve got to come at them from a different angle, or just change their sexuality card and be done with it.


Moving Right Along